For those of you who have been in our community for a while, you may recall that we used to share The Summer Shoe Pledge each year in our summer newsletter. Originally emailed to us in 1999, I’m not sure who authored it, but I do know this light-hearted oath was always a hit. I recently came across it and was struck by how relevant it still is. Here it is again for you to read, share and enjoy – we welcome your comments, too!
The Summer Shoe Pledge
Please raise your big toes and repeat after me:
As a member of the “Toe Exposing Sisterhood,” I pledge to follow these rules when wearing sandals and other open-toed shoes:
I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and top of my feet will not “pudge out” between the straps.
I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.
I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.
I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
I won’t wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, co-worker, mother or sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.
If a strap breaks, I won’t duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.
I will not live in corn denial. Rather, I will lean on my good friend, Dr. Scholl’s, if my feet need him.
I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids’ sizes. This is out of concern for my safety and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat, and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.
I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toe swells and begins to look like a Vienna sausage.
I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend, sister and/or co-worker when she asks if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that there are simply better options than sandals for creepy feet!
– Anonymous